Does driving affect profoundly people's lives?
Allow me to answer this retorical question by posting an unsollicited email I received today from a classy person.
"Hi Stephan,
Thank you so much for all of the great help you've provided for my dad!! I appreciated your text message today telling me that he passed his test!! Passing this test is a monumental achievement in his life right now in terms of his stroke recovery and not only a benefit to his own independency but a big relief on the family as we are so happy that my dad can resume re-building his life!! We couldn't have done it without you and your patience and understanding and commitment to his learning!! Thank you so much for all that you've done and we will miss you!! I hope that we have a chance to see you sometime! You are truly a miracle and I am so happy that there are people like you in this world who benefit the lives of others!!! We will celebrate my dad's passing his test this week during our San Diego vacation!! Next week -- I will make sure that I also send a note to your company for your great abilities and patience and commitment!! Thanks again! And, hope to see you sometime in the future!!
J. H"
Friday, June 29, 2007
The need to change our driving philosophy
It has become self evident to me that driving is a reflection of one personality. Erratic driving is often manifested by uptight, on the edge, diffident drivers. On the other hand, calm and smooth driving is usually performed by secure, confident, well-balanced drivers.
Thus, it is significant to develop and nurture the ability to disassociate our inherent personality and our driving style. This psychological metamorphosis is not easy as it needs to undergo some devolvement against the trendy current of the “me first” philosophy. This voluntary change is only genuine when it is implemented when nothing appears to be leading to that change, when it is produced from our inner resource.
Stress and adverse intense psychological attacks do affect us profoundly as we react to our life environment.
A few years ago, I was contracted to evaluate a senior driver whose license was suspended as the result of running through a red light just next to a police car. The driver stated that he saw the policeman clearly well before committing the potential fatal traffic violation.
The elderly gentlemen revealed to me that he was on his way back from his wife funeral.
There is no excuse for committing such road sin but it is important to understand the imperfection of our physical and mental constitution to arm ourselves with the tools that are going to increase our chance to perform at our very best on the road. It is paramount to remember that our driving does not only affect ourselves but others: someone son, someone wife, someone father, someone grandson, etc…
The very first action before driving is not to look around the vehicle, adjust the mirrors and turn on the engine. Prior to that, take a few long deep diaphragmatic breath to calm yourself and flush yourself from all counterproductive issues, meditate on your change of demeanor and surround yourself with the feeling of gratefulness toward your life, towards who or what positively contributed to your existence.
Those few minutes of preliminary reflection constitute a pro-active exercise to help you become a safer, more tolerant driver.
Please promote good driving behavior.
Thus, it is significant to develop and nurture the ability to disassociate our inherent personality and our driving style. This psychological metamorphosis is not easy as it needs to undergo some devolvement against the trendy current of the “me first” philosophy. This voluntary change is only genuine when it is implemented when nothing appears to be leading to that change, when it is produced from our inner resource.
Stress and adverse intense psychological attacks do affect us profoundly as we react to our life environment.
A few years ago, I was contracted to evaluate a senior driver whose license was suspended as the result of running through a red light just next to a police car. The driver stated that he saw the policeman clearly well before committing the potential fatal traffic violation.
The elderly gentlemen revealed to me that he was on his way back from his wife funeral.
There is no excuse for committing such road sin but it is important to understand the imperfection of our physical and mental constitution to arm ourselves with the tools that are going to increase our chance to perform at our very best on the road. It is paramount to remember that our driving does not only affect ourselves but others: someone son, someone wife, someone father, someone grandson, etc…
The very first action before driving is not to look around the vehicle, adjust the mirrors and turn on the engine. Prior to that, take a few long deep diaphragmatic breath to calm yourself and flush yourself from all counterproductive issues, meditate on your change of demeanor and surround yourself with the feeling of gratefulness toward your life, towards who or what positively contributed to your existence.
Those few minutes of preliminary reflection constitute a pro-active exercise to help you become a safer, more tolerant driver.
Please promote good driving behavior.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Hug your children tightly tonight
My delectable and peaceful 40 minute morning drive was painfully pinched by a 10’ X 6’ banner hanging on a short pedestrian bridge. The following words were inscribed in the sign:
“Thank you to the Ladera Ranch community for the love, support, and prayers for our loss of Kyle, Emma, and Katie,”
At the bottom of the sign, 2 pink bows and 1 blue bow were printed.
The banner puzzled and saddened me. I could not hold back tears.
Who are Kyle, Emma and Katie?
What happened?
I arrived at my customer house and asked him about the banner.
“Those children were killed when a semi-tractor trailer rear-ended the minivan the parents were driving, heading of the Oso exit”
They were 5, 4, and 2 year old.
I am posting the picture of the accident after researching the accident on the net.
I have three children as well. I am heartbroken and I will hold them a little longer tonight when I get my welcome home hugs.
I am more than ever resolute to share what I know about driving with others.
For start, here are the three pillars of Defensive Driving:
1. Never compromise your space cushion. Divide your speed by 10 and the number obtained would be the numbers of car length needed in front of your car. If you are driving at 50 mph, leave at least 5 car length in between your car and the car ahead
2. Always leave yourself a way out. Try to avoid staying side by side with a car if possible.
3. Always be aware of your driving environment. Check your mirrors actively. Practice constant visual search to observe potential dangers
Please hug your children tightly tonight
“Thank you to the Ladera Ranch community for the love, support, and prayers for our loss of Kyle, Emma, and Katie,”
At the bottom of the sign, 2 pink bows and 1 blue bow were printed.
The banner puzzled and saddened me. I could not hold back tears.
Who are Kyle, Emma and Katie?
What happened?
I arrived at my customer house and asked him about the banner.
“Those children were killed when a semi-tractor trailer rear-ended the minivan the parents were driving, heading of the Oso exit”
They were 5, 4, and 2 year old.
I am posting the picture of the accident after researching the accident on the net.
I have three children as well. I am heartbroken and I will hold them a little longer tonight when I get my welcome home hugs.
I am more than ever resolute to share what I know about driving with others.
For start, here are the three pillars of Defensive Driving:
1. Never compromise your space cushion. Divide your speed by 10 and the number obtained would be the numbers of car length needed in front of your car. If you are driving at 50 mph, leave at least 5 car length in between your car and the car ahead
2. Always leave yourself a way out. Try to avoid staying side by side with a car if possible.
3. Always be aware of your driving environment. Check your mirrors actively. Practice constant visual search to observe potential dangers
Please hug your children tightly tonight
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Road Rage
It has become apparent in my essays that I know one thing or two about driving behavior. My background in advanced driving rehabilitation has given me opportunities to explore and to help correct several esoteric driving disorders ranging from freeway phobia to hand controlled driving for quadriplegics, from brain injury driving modification to driving evaluation for at risk drivers. A web of expertise has been spun and woven over 17 years and I will generously share my know how as time permits.
However, my observations and my reflections develop and shape themselves, as I am alone in the car.
As I crisscross cities and counties, I have noticed that during the last 5 years, Road Rage has become a phenomenon that has reached unbelievable proportion. Road Rage is augmenting exponentially and will reach a status of an epidemic road disease.
The stressful lifestyle, the bombardment of required expected daily tasks, the need to process increasingly fast information, the multitasking under the umbrella of information super highway, the lack of time, the lack of affordability of California lifestyle, drain all of us from any down time to reflect, to meditate, and to silence our mind.
Many tasks, usually dealt with at home are now transferred to the commuting time in the car. So the car has now become a fully integrated office with blackberries, cell phones, lap tops, etc… and has severely handicapped the concentration and serenity necessary to operate a vehicle safely.
Multiply the spiral of these activities by millions of drivers to understand where we are headed: a driving war zone.
Understanding where we are all headed is ‘the first step to recovery’.
However, my observations and my reflections develop and shape themselves, as I am alone in the car.
As I crisscross cities and counties, I have noticed that during the last 5 years, Road Rage has become a phenomenon that has reached unbelievable proportion. Road Rage is augmenting exponentially and will reach a status of an epidemic road disease.
The stressful lifestyle, the bombardment of required expected daily tasks, the need to process increasingly fast information, the multitasking under the umbrella of information super highway, the lack of time, the lack of affordability of California lifestyle, drain all of us from any down time to reflect, to meditate, and to silence our mind.
Many tasks, usually dealt with at home are now transferred to the commuting time in the car. So the car has now become a fully integrated office with blackberries, cell phones, lap tops, etc… and has severely handicapped the concentration and serenity necessary to operate a vehicle safely.
Multiply the spiral of these activities by millions of drivers to understand where we are headed: a driving war zone.
Understanding where we are all headed is ‘the first step to recovery’.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Road inseparable bonding
Driving an automobile is a single routine, which requires massive, profound trust in other fellow drivers. As drivers, we are all bonded with an immense pool of fragile interconnectivities, which affect our very destiny. Race, religion, social background, political affiliation does not break this bond based on self preservation- the master attribute of human beings. Let me illustrate. Driving at 60 MPH on the winding Laguna Beach freeway where the oncoming traffic flies by 3 feet from your car is an act of faith. We blindly trust that the oncoming drivers will keep their directional control in check. Any quarter of an inch steering misjudgment at this speed could result in a fatal head on collision.
What exactly constitute the fabric of this bond? I suggest that it is our humanity…
Let’s contemplate the following fictitious tales.
Elizabeth, a brilliant but novice real estate agent is getting dressed with her finest custom tailored ensemble. The 1.2 million dollars offer by her client has just been accepted. She is finally convinced that her career decision to move away from the law firm was the right one. Her 3 kids will soon be better taking care of because of her flexible schedule. Her pursuit of happiness is starting to feel real as she mentally calculates her commission. She smiles as slips a Hermes Foulard over the delicately brushed hair. It is going to be a wonderful day.
Or would it?
At this very moment, Joey received a call from his pa. “Hey Joey, I need you to come back to the shop. The machinist called in sick again and I need you to finish a piece today. If I loose this account I am finished. I know you worked the graveyard shift but I need you at the shop in 1 hr.”
“Ok Boss. I am extremely exhausted but I’ll do it for you Pa. Ciao.”
Elizabeth and Joey life journeys will cross on the 405 freeway when Joey started to dose off on the way to work.
Elizabeth was driving at 70 mph as she was returning her messages. The blue tooth earpiece was nowhere to be found that morning. From her peripheral vision, she noticed a yellow Nissan Pathfinder crossing the line into her lane and saw a fatigued driver dosing off behind the wheel. Elizabeth blasted her horn. Joey woke up, quickly corrected his steering and returned to his lane properly. He wave thanks as he sigh. She inhales deeply and found the strength to wave back holding her blackberry.
What if a fatality occured?
Our lives are more connected than we admit when we share the road. The decisions we make while we drive affect a pool of lives. Let decide wisely and not fill that pool of the blood of Dads, Moms, Sons, Daughters, Grand sons, Grand daughters whose love ones will despair in mourning for the rest of their lives.
What exactly constitute the fabric of this bond? I suggest that it is our humanity…
Let’s contemplate the following fictitious tales.
Elizabeth, a brilliant but novice real estate agent is getting dressed with her finest custom tailored ensemble. The 1.2 million dollars offer by her client has just been accepted. She is finally convinced that her career decision to move away from the law firm was the right one. Her 3 kids will soon be better taking care of because of her flexible schedule. Her pursuit of happiness is starting to feel real as she mentally calculates her commission. She smiles as slips a Hermes Foulard over the delicately brushed hair. It is going to be a wonderful day.
Or would it?
At this very moment, Joey received a call from his pa. “Hey Joey, I need you to come back to the shop. The machinist called in sick again and I need you to finish a piece today. If I loose this account I am finished. I know you worked the graveyard shift but I need you at the shop in 1 hr.”
“Ok Boss. I am extremely exhausted but I’ll do it for you Pa. Ciao.”
Elizabeth and Joey life journeys will cross on the 405 freeway when Joey started to dose off on the way to work.
Elizabeth was driving at 70 mph as she was returning her messages. The blue tooth earpiece was nowhere to be found that morning. From her peripheral vision, she noticed a yellow Nissan Pathfinder crossing the line into her lane and saw a fatigued driver dosing off behind the wheel. Elizabeth blasted her horn. Joey woke up, quickly corrected his steering and returned to his lane properly. He wave thanks as he sigh. She inhales deeply and found the strength to wave back holding her blackberry.
What if a fatality occured?
Our lives are more connected than we admit when we share the road. The decisions we make while we drive affect a pool of lives. Let decide wisely and not fill that pool of the blood of Dads, Moms, Sons, Daughters, Grand sons, Grand daughters whose love ones will despair in mourning for the rest of their lives.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Driving to Heaven
Indian diplomat lost his pregnant wife.
When I was growing up in the coastal town of Dakar, in Senegal - the farthest western country in contiguous Africa – our family had the privilege to have the only functional telephone within a 10 mile radius from the coast near a tumultuous beach named: la plage des Madeleines. We were often called upon to phone emergency services for some traumatizing events. A tourist and his wife drowned, a body found floating to shore, a drunk person passed out on the hard asphalt but the event that marked me the most was when we heard late one evening a squeaking tires squeal from a car whose driver- an Indian diplomat having had too much to drink- drag racing his very pregnant wife back home, and lost control of the vehicle on the sharp curves of the “corniche” behind our house and crashed the passenger side of the car in a solid brick wall shearing the villa of the Dean of the Medical School of the University of Dakar. The Doctor in Chief could have saved two lives that night but the mischance revealed that the Doctor was not home and the paramedics arrived late enough to observe the convulsing body of a bloody pregnant woman fighting for two lives among the screaming of her misguided “Furher” who architected her Holocaust. One the paramedics led the hysterical inebriated husband away from the sight of his wife despite his uncoordinated resistance. The sweet dame drew her last breath surrounded by unknown faces as she was rushed into the ambulance, which came 20 minutes too late.
I was no older than 10 when I witnessed this accident and I wonder if this tragedy gears my destiny towards traffic safety in spite of my actual schooling in civil engineering. Would the knowledge of tire traction relative to cornering speed help in this situation?
Would the knowledge of Blood Alcohol Concentration help?
Would rigorous driver’s training help?
Would developing a better understanding and expertise between the car and self be helpful?
I happen to answer affirmatively to those interrogations.
I rather dream about the mothers that would see their children grow and see their children procreate and live fruitful, happy lives instead of morning the interruption of life due to a preventable car accident.
This thought has validated my calling and hopefully will engage people to see driving from a different light.
When I was growing up in the coastal town of Dakar, in Senegal - the farthest western country in contiguous Africa – our family had the privilege to have the only functional telephone within a 10 mile radius from the coast near a tumultuous beach named: la plage des Madeleines. We were often called upon to phone emergency services for some traumatizing events. A tourist and his wife drowned, a body found floating to shore, a drunk person passed out on the hard asphalt but the event that marked me the most was when we heard late one evening a squeaking tires squeal from a car whose driver- an Indian diplomat having had too much to drink- drag racing his very pregnant wife back home, and lost control of the vehicle on the sharp curves of the “corniche” behind our house and crashed the passenger side of the car in a solid brick wall shearing the villa of the Dean of the Medical School of the University of Dakar. The Doctor in Chief could have saved two lives that night but the mischance revealed that the Doctor was not home and the paramedics arrived late enough to observe the convulsing body of a bloody pregnant woman fighting for two lives among the screaming of her misguided “Furher” who architected her Holocaust. One the paramedics led the hysterical inebriated husband away from the sight of his wife despite his uncoordinated resistance. The sweet dame drew her last breath surrounded by unknown faces as she was rushed into the ambulance, which came 20 minutes too late.
I was no older than 10 when I witnessed this accident and I wonder if this tragedy gears my destiny towards traffic safety in spite of my actual schooling in civil engineering. Would the knowledge of tire traction relative to cornering speed help in this situation?
Would the knowledge of Blood Alcohol Concentration help?
Would rigorous driver’s training help?
Would developing a better understanding and expertise between the car and self be helpful?
I happen to answer affirmatively to those interrogations.
I rather dream about the mothers that would see their children grow and see their children procreate and live fruitful, happy lives instead of morning the interruption of life due to a preventable car accident.
This thought has validated my calling and hopefully will engage people to see driving from a different light.
California DMV written test help: numbers to remember
This is an attempt to help any Californian who struggles to retain the numbers (or confusing concepts based on memorizing) after reading the DMV handbook (who is written for lawyers...)
Enjoy!
About Number of feet
15’: no parking 15ft from a fire hydrant
100’: signal at least 100 ft before turning
200’: it’s allowed to merge into a bike lane without bicycles in it 200 ft before turning right.
300’: dim your high beam lights to low beam lights when approaching a car from behind.
500’ dim your high beam lights to low beam lights when approaching a car coming from the opposite direction.
About Number of Days
5 days – report to DMV the sale of your car.
10 days – report to DMV a change of address.
10 days – report to DMV, if you are involved in an accident with over $ 750 in damage.
About Number of Inches
18” park within 18” from a curb
About Number of Seconds
5 sec. – signal at least 5 seconds before changing lanes on freeway.
8-12 sec. – average time it takes to pass another driver on freeway.
10-15 sec. – look ahead to avoid last minute moves by other drivers.
About Speed limits
15 mph – alleys, parking lots, or if the words “blind” or “can’t see” appear in the questions.
25 mph – school, construction, residential, and business.
65 mph – freeway unless otherwise posted
About Blood Alcohol Concentration
0.01% if the driver is under 21
0.08% if the driver is over 21
About Color Curb Markings
Red: No parking (except for buses)
Green: limited time parking
Yellow: loading or unloading only
Blue: parking for handicapped with plates or placards
White: Pick up’s or drop off’s passengers
Parking On A Hill
When you park headed downhill, turn your front wheels into the curb or toward the side of the road. Set the parking brake.
When you park headed uphill, turn your front wheels away from the curb and let your vehicle roll back a few inches until the rear of one front wheel gently touches the curb. Then set the parking brake.
For either uphill or downhill parking, if there is no curb, turn the wheels toward the side of the road so the car will roll away from the center of the road if the brakes fail.
When you park on a sloping driveway, turn the wheels so that the car will not roll into the street if the brakes fail.
So there is only one situation to remember:
Uphill with a curb, turn the wheels to the Left. For all other cases, turn the wheels to the Right
Enjoy!
About Number of feet
15’: no parking 15ft from a fire hydrant
100’: signal at least 100 ft before turning
200’: it’s allowed to merge into a bike lane without bicycles in it 200 ft before turning right.
300’: dim your high beam lights to low beam lights when approaching a car from behind.
500’ dim your high beam lights to low beam lights when approaching a car coming from the opposite direction.
About Number of Days
5 days – report to DMV the sale of your car.
10 days – report to DMV a change of address.
10 days – report to DMV, if you are involved in an accident with over $ 750 in damage.
About Number of Inches
18” park within 18” from a curb
About Number of Seconds
5 sec. – signal at least 5 seconds before changing lanes on freeway.
8-12 sec. – average time it takes to pass another driver on freeway.
10-15 sec. – look ahead to avoid last minute moves by other drivers.
About Speed limits
15 mph – alleys, parking lots, or if the words “blind” or “can’t see” appear in the questions.
25 mph – school, construction, residential, and business.
65 mph – freeway unless otherwise posted
About Blood Alcohol Concentration
0.01% if the driver is under 21
0.08% if the driver is over 21
About Color Curb Markings
Red: No parking (except for buses)
Green: limited time parking
Yellow: loading or unloading only
Blue: parking for handicapped with plates or placards
White: Pick up’s or drop off’s passengers
Parking On A Hill
When you park headed downhill, turn your front wheels into the curb or toward the side of the road. Set the parking brake.
When you park headed uphill, turn your front wheels away from the curb and let your vehicle roll back a few inches until the rear of one front wheel gently touches the curb. Then set the parking brake.
For either uphill or downhill parking, if there is no curb, turn the wheels toward the side of the road so the car will roll away from the center of the road if the brakes fail.
When you park on a sloping driveway, turn the wheels so that the car will not roll into the street if the brakes fail.
So there is only one situation to remember:
Uphill with a curb, turn the wheels to the Left. For all other cases, turn the wheels to the Right
Friday, June 22, 2007
Let put a face to the blog
"We came from so far baby
Why did you let me be
So distant and somber
And not save me when it was still amber?"
Why did you let me be
So distant and somber
And not save me when it was still amber?"
Extract from a poem I wrote after holding the hand of a driver dying from his wounds caused by a car accident.
The Quest for Driving Mastery: an act of kindness to our civilization
I have been reluctant to write about driving in view of more significantly pressing subjects, which exploration could more urgently contribute to the betterment for mankind. The Israel-Palestine conflict, the dangerous advancement of Islamic radicalism, the global warming phenomenon, the passivity of the majority of moderate thinkers in the world and other crucial subjects, appeared to me more dignified subjects to analyze. This philosophy nullified itself one very early morning on my way to work to San Diego, California. The gigantism of the end of the world reflected upon one human being opened my eyes to the fact that any fatality is as catastrophic for one as an atomic war unleashed on a civilization and reciprocally any act of kindness addressed to one is as powerful as a deluge of benediction unleashed on a civilization. This blog has become my attempt to mirror an act of kindness and has become my atom of benediction to be unleashed on our civilization. But before reflecting on the epiphany of that morning, let me regress to earlier anchoring memories which explain why I choose to create and polish the Art of Driving Mastery by studying the most difficult cases of advanced driver’s education and rehabilitation.
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